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I will always remember the time we watched “Father of the Bride” and we talked about you walking me down the aisle. 10, 2015 – and it was another day that I really missed you. Speaking of … I’m also married, to a wonderful man named Patrick. Sometimes I’ll text him and ask if he’s checked on her lately – not that she needs anybody to do that. He and his wife Naiara got married a couple of years ago, and they’re living in Orlando, close to Mom. Sometimes when Mom sees Aaron walking, or sees some of his mannerisms, she’ll just say out loud, “Oh, that’s so Payne.” That’s a big promotion, and I’m so excited for him! He’s so much like you - he’s the life of the party, has never met a stranger. He just got named tournament director for the season-opening event on the LPGA Tour. I got three extra years with you, and he was robbed of that, but he’s an amazing person.Īaron’s still involved in golf. He’s done a better job than I have at following in your footsteps. I know you’d be pleased that I got a degree from Clemson, but you’d be super-pumped that Aaron played golf at SMU, where he was the team captain. Graduating from high school, graduating from college – that was always a big thing for you. I think it’s the milestone events when I’ve missed you the most these last 20 years. And Mom … she was hurting so much that day, but she stayed strong for us. I clung to that pillow and the smell of you for as long as I could. It smelled like you, and that smell helped me fall asleep that night and for many nights to come. I fell asleep with the pillow you used for your sore neck. That night, we all slept together in yours and mom’s bed.

Finally, the three of us hugged each other as tight as possible, and the rest of the day is a bit of a blur. And I kept screaming for what seemed like forever. I fell backwards onto the bed, screaming. We sat on the bed and that’s when she told us what happened. Mom met us at the door and we went upstairs, to yours and Mom’s bedroom. Or maybe because I didn’t want to let myself think the worst just yet. I remember that taking my breath away, that’s when I knew that it was something bad, but I tried to keep control of my emotions, mainly for Aaron’s sake. Then when we rounded the corner to go down our street, I saw a news truck. Johnny Brendle picked us up and took us home, and as we were driving, he wouldn’t turn on the car radio – another inkling that something was wrong. So Aaron tried calling, but you didn’t answer it went straight to voicemail, and I got more anxious. Aaron said, 'Why don’t we just call his cell phone?' And I thought to myself, 'I’m sure they’ve already tried that,' but I didn’t want to scare him, so I didn’t say anything. We were told something was going on with your plane and that we were being sent home early. I didn’t think much of it, but when I got there, Aaron was there too.

I couldn’t hear the intercom but, apparently, they were calling my name, and some friends told me I was wanted in the principal’s office. I cling to that last memory, comforted in knowing how much you loved us.Ī few hours later, I was in the school cafeteria. Mom then took us to school, and as we were pulling out of the garage, you were standing there on the stairs, blowing us kisses.

I remember what I was wearing that day I remember what I had for breakfast (as usual, you made us banana pancakes). I still remember the last time I saw you. Even as I write this, the waterworks are starting. I think about you every day, miss you every day.

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Sure, as the years have gone by, I’ve learned how to manage my sadness in losing you. People say time heals all wounds, but I don’t believe that.